The typical American eats the equivalent of 28 whole pigs in his or her lifetime. I eat that in a year.

Am I the only man with attention deficit disorder? I had a large catering order this past Thanksgiving weekend where we spent 3 days straight at cabelas in Hoffman estates. Of course I got a wild hair up my ass and bought a professional dehydrator. Why you ask? So I can make beef jerky of course.
My staff says that I will use it twice and get over my fascination. They are probably right. So Eileen had an idea. Eileen is my manager at the deli. Start a web site where dudes log on and trade the useless shit we buy with each other. I think it is a great idea. Not sure of her title. Men with passing fancies. I think I have many of those.

CJ

I think it is highly inappropriate for my wife to make me use my own mayonnaise jar to dip my turkey leftovers in.

2 years ago tonight I sat in the very same place I am now. In my living room with my kids and my wife was mopping the floor in the kitchen. Ok maybe not the mopping thing but the rest is true.
I remember thinking and stressing about the big thanksgiving dinner I was about to cook the next day. Not for my immediate family but for my bigger family… Elgin. I remember wondering if all of the volunteers would show up. Could I really pull this off? Can I prepare food for 1000 people in 3 hours? I remember not sleeping all that well that night.
I woke up that morning at 5am to get to the deli to assemble any last minute items I had forgotten like a can opener or six. I had no idea at the time that this would be a life Changing day.

We got to the Hemmens about 645 and went downstairs to fire up the kitchen. Ovens on, check. Sinks filled, check. Prep sheets done, check. We were ready. As ready as we could be.
The volunteers began arriving at 8 and we started delegating responsibilities and before we knew it it was service time. Go time. Buffets set. Volunteers in place. 2000 desserts plated up.
The first guests started arriving and going through the buffet line. Everyone in the place had smiles on their face. Everyone was glad to be alive and glad to be doing what they were doing.
As I walked through the dining room and met new friends, I noticed the non- verbal Communication that was going on between strangers. There were smiles and head nods, handshakes and hugs. Wow! What a day. Then it happened.
My son who was 8 at the time said, “dad, I thought this dinner was for the homeless.”. I said that it was “for anyone who needed it.” He then said to me as he pointed in the direction of a table of 12 people, ” but I go to school with that boy, he’s not homeless.” Bam! Slugged me right in the chops. That was one of the most eye opening and humbling experiences of my life. It justified what I was doing and made me realize why I was doing it. I was put here, as we all were, for a reason. This was mine. I then realized there was no more important place I could have been at that moment in my life.
After the dinner ended and we were all Cleaned up, a group of us were together talking and I asked why we don’t do this more often. I got the “oh, it’s a lot of work, I don’t have the time,” etc. I thought those were legit reasons but not for me. I vowed to do 4 community dinners a year from then on.
Community dinners you say? Yes community dinners. Everyone’s invited. Rich or poor. Black or white. Tall or short. Everyone. You see, everyone has had some misfortune in their lives and everyone should have a place to go on thanksgiving. Some make more money than others and some have more family than some.
I have been very blessed in my life and this is my way of saying thanks. thanks to all of the people who make this possible. My partners on these dinners, the volunteers, the financial donors, and everyone else who had a part in these events. I say thank you. And thank you most of all to all of my new friends who come down to the Hemmens to share their day with me.

Chef Jeff

The French have a doughnut named a “nun’s fart”. Hahahahahahahahaha.

Nothing says happiness like a good cheese ball.

Since when does hunger have anything to do with eating???

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened .

Then he decided to Write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When The postal
Authorities received The letter addressed to God, USA They decided to send it to President Obama.

Obama was so amused that he
Instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

He thought this would appear to
Be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted
With the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you Note to God, which read:

Dear God:
Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through
Washington, D.C. and those
Assholes took $95.00 in taxes.